I like the French's mustard "Stay Clean Cap" which stops the mustard from gunking up at the top. There's only one problem--it DOESN'T WORK. It gets all crusty up at the top still, looking quite gross. What they really need is a mustard bottle that stops the mustard juce from dripping out on to your sandwich. Nobody likes watery mustard. And I mean nobody.

I'm a cheapskate. If I can use coupons, I do. But why every time lately when I use one, it's in my hand and then suddenly it vaporizes into thin air. They're just skinny paper, so they're gone in the blink of an eye. I've lost a good many coupons that way.

When someone calls you, if they're not completely and definitely sure who it is, they should ask, "Hello, is Matt there?" or something of the like. Here's a phone call I got the other day:

(phone rings)
Me: Hello?
Caller: Hi!
Me: Hello.
(awkward pause)
Caller: Is Jason there?
Me: No, you must have the wrong number.

Now how stupid do they feel? If you don't know exactly who it is that picks up the phone, then play it safe and ask!

Soup is not a meal. That's how I feel about it. Sure, it's good with a sandwich for lunch, or when you're sick, but by itself, it is not a meal. I like the hearty soups, with lots of stuff in it. When the amount of broth greatly outnumbers the amount of solid food in the soup, you know you're in trouble. But after you eat all the stuff in the soup, how do you drink up the broth? I always just pick up the bowl and slurp up the rest of the broth, but something tells me that's not how Miss Manners would do it. But what are you going to do, spoon up the rest of the broth? That would take a lot of time, and let's not forget, time is money.