THE MATRIX SCHMATRIX

The Matrix Reloaded comes out today. Anyone who knows me would say I would love that movie, with it's martial arts/sci-fi/shoot 'em up hybrid, but surprisingly, I'm not a huge fan. Oh, it's all right, but I think it's a tad overrated. The martial arts are cool, but I've seen stuff like that since the 90s in numerous Asian films, so it's not anything new to me. And the whole deal about living in the Matrix? We could all be living in the Matrix now and being controlled by aliens as far as we're all concerned. So if we don't know, who cares? Ignorance is bliss my friends. Lastly--Keanu Reeves??? That guy is the worst actor ever! "Guns...lots of guns..." Sure, that's cheese dialogue, but it doesn't help when you have the wooden Keanu saying it. So that's all I have to say about The Matrix. I much prefer the Wachowski brothers' Bound, which is wicked cool and stylish. I might see the new Matrix just to see what it's all about, and I promise I'll keep an open mind about it if I do, but honestly, Keanu?? Can I really subject myself to that???

23 1/2 HOUR TOWING

Have you ever seen these tow trucks with "23 1/2 Hour Towing Service" painted on their sides? Hmm, seems like there's something missing... Like the last half-hour of the day! How dumb is that? Just paint 24 Hours on your truck and be done with it! What happens if you call one of these trucks and the tow truck driver says "Sorry buddy. This is my half-hour off so no can do. If you can wait 30 minutes though, I can be there in a jiffy." That wouldn't be too fun. I guess maybe it's tow truck humor and is trying to be funny, but it's not really.

SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS, PART 2

This article states that "Kids Desert Saturday-morning TV Shows." Nuh-uh. The reason kids don't watch cartoons on Saturday mornings anymore, is because of the reasons I stated in my 4/26 post--there are no cartoons! Unless you're a fan of Dora the Explorer, the options are pretty much limited. But you're in luck if you're a Jack Hanna fan! *sarcasm* Kids don't want to learn on Saturday, that's their day off! Cut 'em some slack man, they learn the rest of the week! It's no wonder they had to turn to the Cartoon Network because that's the only place where you're guaranteed to see a cartoon! Away Jack Hanna! Let the mind rot away in a festering pile of high quality animation!

COOLNESS UNPERSONIFIED

While I could never be Ferris or Zack (see below), the person on TV most like me is Shaggy, from Scooby-Doo. A raggedy t-shirt, scraggly facial hair, and a funny walk. Yup, that's me all right.

COOLNESS PERSONIFIED

There are two people who are so cool that I aspire to be them. They are Ferris Bueller and Zack Morris. Yes, I realize that they are not real people, but real people aren't as cool as they are. They always had the right moves, the right words, and the right style. They were stylin' 'n profilin'. You don't see cool guys like that on TV anymore, let me tell you that! ...if only I could be as cool...*sigh*