A TOUPEE WOULD BE BETTER
My vote for the person with the consistently worst hairstyle in Hollywood goes to Josh Hartnett. In his new movie, Hollywood Homicide, he's got this combed-down do that just doesn't work for the guy. In Pearl Harbor, he had the buzz cut going on. Sure, it's for the role, where he's in the Army, but again, it just doesn't work! But the all-time worst hair do every committed to film was in Halloween: H2O, where he had this badly cut, sticky-uppy sort of style. It looked DUMB. If you don't believe me, go watch it, if only for five minutes so you can see the Matt MacDonald-deemed WORST HAIRSTYLE EVER IN THE HISTORY OF FILM.
PHOTO FINISH
Watching the show Celebrities Uncensored on E! got me thinking. Celebrities absolutely hate being followed around and having their picture snapped--understandably so--but if the paparazzi stopped following them around, they'd probably be crushed. Fame is fleeting is all I can say, enjoy having your picture taken and plastered all over sleazy tabloid rags while you can.
HEROES & VILLIANS
Last night the American Film Institute had a show of the 100 Greatest Heroes and Villians. The #1 villian? Hannibal Lecter. A good choice. The #1 hero? Atticus Finch, of To Kill A Mockingbird. A good choice...for the #2 spot. Who had the #2 spot? Indiana Jones!!!!! The coolest guy ever in the history of everything was relegated to #2??? But--but--he's the coolest! I've structured by entire life around the fact that Indiana Jones is the man, and they crushed that idea in one fell swoop! Thereby destroying everything I've ever held dear. I mean, I like Atticus Finch as much as the next guy, he's my dawg, but Indy...you'll always be #1 in my book...*tear*
By the way, I put the Bloghop rating icon up again because I finally noticed it had been gone. So if you haven't voted for this blog already, give it a whirl, it'll be fun! It's at the bottom of the page. And I promise I won't be mad if you give it a bad rating. But who would give a bad rating to this site? It's the keenest thing since fish sticks!
MOTHER MAY I?
I have a theory about mothers on television sitcoms: They're all mean. Yup, that's right. Television dads are always nice, funny, and let the kids get away with anything. But the mothers are the stern, punishment-doling out ones. Don't believe me? I cite such shows as Home Improvement, Malcolm in the Middle, Everybody Loves Raymond, The Cosby Show, The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air (the first Vivian, not the second), Family Matters...list goes on. All of these shows had mothers that were mean. Can there be at least one show at some point were the mom is the funny one and the dad is the stern one? There might be one, but I can't think of any. For a minute I almost thought Roseanne, but no, John Goodman was pretty easygoing and Roseanne was the mean one. Then I thought maybe Family Ties. And while I don't think Meredith Baxter was mean, I still think she was the disciplinarian of the two parents. If anyone has any ideas of nice mother/mean father shows, send them to me. This is open for roundtable discussion after all.
THE QUEEN OF ALL MEDIA?
My brother, who always has a good opinion on these sorts of things, said that he thinks JLo is one of the biggest stars ever. I scoffed and said "Yeah right, that'll be the day." But then I thought about it, and I realized that maybe she is the biggest star. She has albums and movies out at the same time, and she's in at least one magazine a month, and can dance and divorce too. Despite her diva behavior, people like her, God knows why. They can identify with her "simple Puerto Rican girl" schtick. She's practically the Queen of all Media. This can't be so I tell myself. Doesn't anybody realize that she sucks yet? This travesty can't go on, please America, her career trajectory is in your hands! Don't make the wrong choice!
And now, a JLo haiku:
Jennifer Lopez.
Simple Puerto Rican girl?
Far from it diva!
