RAPPERS, SINGERS, WHO CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE? EVERYBODY.
It bothers me when rappers release songs where they try and sing. Here I cite Jay-Z's "'03 Bonnie and Clyde" where he tries to carry a tune with Beyonce, and Busta Rhymes matching Mariah Carey note for note on "I Know What You Want ." But these guys are rappers, not singers, as is clearly evident on these two songs because they can't sing! And thusly, I don't want to hear them sing because a) they're bad at it, b) they're better at rapping, and c) THEY'RE BAD AT IT! Matt's rule of life #3: stick with what you know.
SUN, SUN GO AWAY
I can't understand people sitting out in the sun in order to get a tan. They may look nice, depending on your point of view, but the sun is bad, very bad. It's got UV rays that burn your skin, makes you wrinkly, and will give you skin cancer. These are not good things, no sir. But yet, people still continue to bask in the sun at the beach and take in the UV. That's why I'm pale, because I stay out of the sun. Even though people may make fun of my pale skin, I know I'll have the last laugh--mwahahaha! I mean, I guess if they wanted to someone could make the argument that the sun is good since it gives the earth warmth and everything life, but, like, whatever.
ANNOYING NEWSPAPER PROBLEMS
I read the newspaper everyday. I like reading the newspaper. But there a couple of things that annoy me when I read the newspaper.
<Annoying Newspaper Problems:
<1) When you're reading the newspaper facing a fan and it keeps blowing it around.
2) When the newspaper is delivered to your house in a rolled-up, elastic-bound fashion so when you open it up to try and read it it keeps curling up.
3) When the delivery person drops the newspaper on your front stoop and people steal it before you go down to get it. (Yes, it's happened to me)
4) When the editors put more local stories in the newspaper in lieu of national stories
5) When the editors put in the worst comic strips known to man and expect readers to enjoy them
These are problems I have with newspapers. Can't I just enjoy the fine art of newspapering in peace??
EVEN IF YOU GIVE A HACK $100 MILLION, THEY'LL STILL BE A $100 MILLION HACK
I hate the new gang of film directors that are bred from MTV videos. I cite Michael Bay, David Fincher, McG...list goes on. These guys use flashy film techniques that may look pretty, but don't add anything to the movie. It boggles my mind how horrifyingly bad Bay's Pearl Harbor, Fincher's Panic Room, and McG's Charlie's Angels are, not to mention other films of theirs. Sure, I don't expect anybody to be the next Scorsese or Spielberg, but these films are just bad. Heck, Pearl Harbor is so bad it's already legendary. Directors from the video school like to emphasize quick, flashy cuts and pump the volume up to maximum levels and that gives me an aneurysm. And obviously, I don't like aneurysms. The exception to this MTV/director rule is Spike Jonze, who is a genius. Of course, his videos were always better than everybody else's. Coincidence? I don't think so.
Any Michael Bay fans out there that care to disagree with my opinions? Send me an email, we can hash out our differences over some hash browns.
