'ELLO GUVNA

So Arnold Schwarzenegger has decided to run for Governor in California. Does he really have the credentials for this? People probably wondered if Ronald Reagan did too, and he went all the way to become President of the United States. I don't know, but people will probably vote for him because he's a celebrity. Heck, they voted for Jesse Ventura and he was only a pseudo-celebrity. I myself am throwing my hat in the ring for Gary Coleman, who has also decided to run. Yeah Gary! Work for that .01% of the vote! You go dawg!

SNEAKERS? NO. HATS? NAH. CHOCOLATE SPREAD? YEAH!

So the allegations against Kobe Bryant have taken a turn for the worst in at least one way, one of his endorsement deals is being phased out. His deal with Nike? Nope. His deal with Sprite. Negative. The deal that fell through was with Nutella. Yes, that's right, Nutella, the gooey, chocolate-y spread. Nutella?! What the heck is Kobe Bryant doing endorsing Nutella?? Does he eat it? I guess he lived in Italy when he was younger; it's all the rage over there, so maybe he does. Though it's not really something a star athlete making millions would eat I don't think. And can you imagine the discussion in the locker room?

Basketball player 1: "I just got a $70 million deal with Reebok!"
Basketball player 2: "I just got a $90 million deal with Adidas!"
Basketball player 1: "What about you Kobe?"
Kobe: (mumbling) "um...yeah, I just got a deal with...Nutella..."
Basketball player 1 & 2: "Bwahahahaha!"

The kids like sneakers and shirts and all that, but I don't think Kobe's image was going to sell a more significant amount of Nutella anyway, so it's not his biggest loss. I forget, why did Kobe endorse Nutella? Oh, he makes a lot of money from it--er, eats it. Yeah, that's it.

BANKABLE? MORE LIKE STANKABLE!

You know, I have to laugh maniacally at the anemic box office total that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez's Gigli took in in its first weekend. It came in 8th place and garnered a svelte $3.8 million. Bwahahahaha! That's just sad. It made the same amount of money Finding Nemo did this weekend, even though Nemo has been out the entire summer. Laughable.

However, I can't help but feel the movie was treated a little unfairly. It had so much bad buzz, with everybody griping that it was the worst movie in recent memory, that nobody went to see it. And of course they aren't, who's going to fork over their hard-earned coin to see a movie that's already branded as BAD before it even comes out?? And I'm sure there are other equally bad movies that cost $100 million+ that get put out that people will see because there's so much hype surrounding a movie of that caliber (*cough* pearlharbor *cough*). So Ben, Jen, I sympathize with you. I still don't like you, but I think you were treated unfairly, I can admit that. Of course, nobody cares what I say, so you're still floppers in the public's eye.