THEY'RE EXTRAORDINARY! (LOSERS)

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when they see Mario Lopez these days? I mean, I always kind of did on Saved By the Bell because of that perm. eek. But nowadays he's even lamer. Host of The Other Half, America's Most Talented Kid, America's Most Talented Pet, appearances on Hollywood Squares...he's on a train to Loserville, population: Gary Coleman. Oh wait--he already made the stop at Loserville and has taken up residence there. I feel much the same way about Lance Bass.; judging America's Most Talented Kid, appearances on Hollywood Squares, being a member of N'Sync, and hyping up his trip to the moon and then not even going. What is the deal Lance? Regardless of the crap music he makes, at least your fellow N'Syncer Justin Timberlake still dates the likes of Cameron Diaz! You've gone straight downhill my friend. Actually, he started on the bottom, so now the only place to go is into the Earth's core. And who am I kidding? Lance is no friend of mine! Go pal around with your loser buddies Mario and Gary. Of course, it's also entirely possible that I watch too much TV, but ONLY YOU can make that call.

LATIN IS NO LONGER JUST A DEAD LANGUAGE

The Latin Grammy Awards are on tonight. Yes, Latin Grammys. How far have race relations come when we need a separate awards show for the Latin people? God forbid they compete with everybody else in the regular Grammy show! Why can't all music be scored on an even level? Maybe it's because they don't want to hang with the regular Grammy peeps? Because that show is just one giant laughing stock. I'm sure Gloria Estefan just laughs and laughs at Britney Spears being nominated for a Grammy...all the way to the bank!

Speaking of Latinos (is that the politically correct term? I don't want to offend anybody. Oh wait--I did that long ago), one of my favorite film directors is Robert Rodriguez. He's my dawg. He's great because he does the movie practically by himself, and in creative ways too. Directing, Writing, Editing, Scoring, Special effecting...he does it all man! Dizzang, that's impressive. Nobody does that kind of stuff anymore. Now everybody does their one job, and that's it. So Robert Rodriguez--I salute you!

KIND OF CURRENT EVENT COMMENTARY

The SAT scores nationwide jumped a significant amount in a recent finding. That's great, except the SATs are DUMB. A multiple choice test is supposed to test one's intelligence? When half the verbal questions are analogies?! At what other time has one needed to do an analogy? Answer: None other times, the only time you do one is on the SATs! And if you do good on these questions and get a good score, you're a shoe-in for a good school. And if you have an uncanny knack for analogies, but nothing else, hey! Welcome to Yale!

And another thing I think is lame is studying for the SATs. You can't really study for these tests. Sure, you can study how to do an analogy, but you don't know what analogies they'll give you on the test, so what exactly is the point I ask? They can throw you some weird one that you don't understand relationship of, and they probably will. Some people study for months and buy books and hire expensive tutors. This is the absolute worst. You can do all that and still score low! You either know it, or you don't. If you overthink it, you'll only think yourself into a low score.
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So the new cable TV station Trio went on the air yesterday. It shows old television shows that were cancelled by the major networks. Yeahhhh, that was my idea. It's true! I've been saying that for years! Ever since the Fox show Profitt was canceled, (which was one of the greatest canceled shows EVER), I wanted an outlet for canceled shows. But who's going to win that idea battle? Me, or somebody that can put millions of dollars behind the idea and actually make it happen? *sigh* I'm the king of ideas that somebody else gets rich off of.

LAST OF THE TOUGH GUYS

Today I write with a heavy heart. A true legend is gone. Charles Bronson died at the age of 81 yesterday. *tear* He was the greatest. With a film career spanning decades, and legendary films like Death Wish, Mr. Majestyk, and The Mechanic, he filled a niche of his own and proved that not-so-handsome guys with scrawny moustaches really can become movie stars. Even though I admittedly did sometimes make fun, I always enjoyed watching his films, and there will never be another like him. Rest in Peace, Chuck.

*The above is not written in my usual sarcastic mode, I really do like Charles Bronson and it saddens me that he's gone. He was da man.

If I'm not too choked up, I'll be posting more later cause I've got a lot to talk about.

A WHOLE NEW SET OF IRRITATIONS

I already proclaimed the annoying problems I had when reading a newspaper (see post 7/08/03), but now, living in a new city, I have to read a new newspaper. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, this newspaper is better in a lot of ways. It helps living in a city where stuff actually happens. But where it's not better is the daily entertainment-type columns. For example, I read Ann Landers faithfully, as she was the best (God rest her soul *solemn silence*), and then Annie's Mailbox after her passing. But now I am forced to read her sister, Dear Abby! Abigail Van Buren (actually written by her daughter) print the dumbest letters, and dispense the worst advice! Here's a paraphrase of a letter in the column a while back:

"My dance recital is coming up and I'm worried the rest of my dance class will make mistakes. What should I do?"

What kind of letter is that? She can get advice to stop worrying from her parents! That's just nerves! That's not even worth printing! What about the people that need real help? The mother's whose sister's boyfriend's mother cheated on her husband? That's what people really wanna read!

Second of all, Carolyn Hax?? What is the deal with this woman? She's got some pent up anger from a past relationship methinks. And she releases it un-repentingly on the unwitting letter writer. Plus, her answers are the most cryptic things to decipher since the enigma code. Gads!

And lastly, Cathy. The comic strip. I realize that this is a strip slanted towards female readers, but it never makes me laugh. NEVER. Even For Better Or For Worse makes me laugh once in awhile. Heck, even the worst strip ever, Close to Home*, makes me laugh once in awhile! But Cathy...man, do I hate that strip. I apologize to fans of Cathy everywhere, and you can feel free to not like strips that I do, but I just don't like it. Give me Foxtrot or give me death!

*I'm going to write another post about this terribly bad strip...just not now.