MORE NICKNAME FUN!

On-the-ball reader Erin tells me that a much better name that comes with built-in nicknames (see post below) is Elizabeth, where you've got "Liz, Beth, Lizzy, Eliza, Betsy, etc.". So very true Erin, good call on that one! It puts my measly three nickname names to shame... *sniffle*

But speaking of nicknames (again, see post below), sometimes I just don't get where these nicknames come from. Like calling someone Dick because their name is Richard. Huh? How does one get "Dick" from Richard? (eep! That sounds dirty...) They both start with different letters for cry Pete! Also, "Bill" though one's name is William. Again, they both start with different letters! It would be like calling me "Pat" even though my name is Matthew! Imagine if William Shakespeare called himself Bill? Or if Bill Shakespeare named his play Dick III? How would history as we know it have changed????? ...okay, it probably wouldn't have, but unless anybody has a Wayback Machine, we may never know for sure...


...hee hee, "Dick III"
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The Fox Steals Home updated!

WHAT'S IN A NAME? NICKNAMES, IF YOU'RE LUCKY!

I think names like William and Richard are great. Yeah, yeah, they're names that don't go out style, but who cares? These two names have already got multiple nicknames built into them. No need to assign one after years of life have been lived! If you're name is William, you can go by Will, Willy, or Bill. If you are a Richard you've got Rich, Rick, or Dick. What other names have three whole nicknames already built into them at the start of life?? Not many my friends...not many 't'all.

LIKE MIKE, DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE MIKE

Is it somewhat disturbing that I'm now listening to Michael Jackson on the day after his Neverland ranch was searched because of his molestation charges? Hmmm...I think so, but I'm doing it anyway. Even though it makes me feel icky.

Song currently playing: "The Way You Make Me Feel" Ouch. Definitely not a good song choice either...

ME, THE ANTI-SOCIALITE

I wish I was a socialite, like The Hilton Sisters. I mean, look at them, they're famous. They hang with celebrities and are always in People magazine. But why are they famous? As my brother so astutely observed, they're rich and they party. That's it. Are those enough qualifications? Apparently it is. They got famous the easy way. But hey--I can party too! So why am I not famous? Oh, that's right, I'm po'. *sigh* Relegated to the sidelines yet again...

*The Fox Steals Home updated!*

Now Schick has released a new razor, the Schick Quattro. What's so special about this razor, you ask? Why, this razor has four blades. Yup, four whole blades. I know the next question you'll be asking is,"But Matt, why do we need four blades?" And the answer, my friends, is: I HAVE NO IDEA. Why does anyone need four blades? I have the Gillette Mach 3, which has three blades, and it works just fine and dandy. I remember ye olde days when a three blade design was totally revolutionary, now I guess it's just ho hum. I mean, how many different things can you do with a razor? Once you've got a blade, you're pretty much done. Pretty soon there's going to be five, six, seven blades and one's face is going to be grated beyond recognition.

The floor is now open!--Who's got five blades? Can I hear five?

THE UNCANNY GAS MEN

So I was filling up my car with gas today, and flicked the little lever so it would go automatically and I wouldn't have to hold it, and as I was standing there I thought, "It shouldn't take more than $10 since it's already half full..." Shortly after that, the machine stopped pumping, and the amount on the machine was exactly $10! Not $9.59, not $10.01, a ten-spot right on the money. And this was at Irving, where they have the digital numbers on the pumps, not the old-fashioned dial like you might see at some backwoods convenience store, oh no. Ten-zero-zero-zero right across the board. 'Tis uncanny! I am the gasoline-pumping MASTER!! Huzzah! Huzzah!