A DISSERTATION ON CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS

Every year for Christmas there's always some new decoration that becomes all the rage. A few years ago it was icicle lights, then spiral trees, then the lights in the shape of deer. This year it's the 8 foot tall inflatable santas. There's only one word I can use to describe these: TACKY. Man, could it get any uglier? It's like the winter equivalent of those flamingos people stick in the lawn. I don't mean to be a grinch, but those are in NO WAY as cool as the spiral trees. I thought we had long been out of the gaudy ornament business when the huge tree lights my parents had in the 70s finally went out of style.
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I'm done my wrapping! Even though I feel pretty pathetic when I'm doing it because I'm quite bad at it. I rip the paper when I cut it, I cut it too short, I get the tape all stuck together, I bunch the corners all up, and it basically comes out like one giant mess. So after I'm finished wrapping it, I still have to put it in a bag so it'll be presentable and so I won't feel embarassed. But hey, it's just ripped open in 2 seconds anyway, so whatev.

Merry Christmas!

HAM, SWISS, AND...RYE

When people sing the line "Born is the king of Israel" in the song "The First Noel," why do they pronounce 'Israel' as 'Iz-rye-el'? Never once have I heard anyone call the country that outside of that song. I guess maybe it sounds better than 'Iz-ree-el'...? But I don't know... What I do know is that I'm calling Israel 'Iz-rye-el' from now on, even when I'm not singing that song! Yeah!