DOES IT STEM FROM THE DARK SECRETS OF MY CHILDHOOD?

Today I was flicking through the channels and saw that The Naked Truth was on, the old Tea Leoni show. Which was a good show (till they screwed it up by changing the concept and adding George Wendt dammit!). So I watched it. But then I realized something--it was on WE, the Woman's Entertainment channel!!! Then a little later, I found myself watching some of the movie Fear, which happened to be on the Lifetime channel!! But--but--noooooooo! I'm not supposed to watch those channels! I'm a man, right? Uhhh...right? We all already know I've had trouble watching Lifetime programming before. And I've gotten emails from YM Magazine before (see 12-04-03 post). So that seals it, I am a woman. You heard it here first folks.

SO YOUNG...SO SOON...

*sniffle* I had to retire my lucky boxer shorts today. The waistband was just too far gone. You may laugh, but those boxers brought me good luck whenever I wore them. Most famous of all, beating extreme odds in Atlantic City to bring in some serious coin. They were the heir to my original lucky boxer shorts which I had to retire for exactly the same reason. Don't worry, I gave them a proper military burial, humming Taps while folding them like a flag. *choked up* Who's my special boy?

*sniffle* No, no...I'll be all right...really... *sob*

CELL PHONE PROBLEMS 2

Another thing I wanted to talk about is Nextel phones. They advertise their phones as being able to be used as walkie-talkies. The thing is, who wants to use their phone as a walkie-talkie? Then everybody in ear shot can hear the person on the other end! What if they make some disparaging remarks that others shouldn't hear? I don't consider it a big selling point, does America?

Yet another thing I forgot to mention

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...dang it! I stopped typing in the middle of this and now I can't remember what it was I was going to say! Think Matt! Think!

Pholph's Scrabble Generator My Scrabble© Score is: 40. What is your score? Get it here.

Yeah, I'm a drty cheater cause I used my middle name. You gotta problem wit' dat?!

YOU CAN CALL ME ANY, ANY TIME

Cell phones rock my world. I'm a geek. But I hate their gigantic price gouging tendencies. We all know that you have to pay through the roof if you go over your minutes, but what about the rip-off that is the mobile web? Want a new ringtone for your phone? $2.99. Want a game? $5.99. Want a new browser instead of the crappy one that comes with your phone? $29.95. Arrggghhhh! You have to pay for every little thing!! Madness!!!

And they're always coming out with better technology so you're practically forced to upgrade. Remember analog phones? Yeah, I had one, now it's collecting dust somewhere in a pile of junk because no one uses analog anymore! It's all digital now. Remember the big Zack Morris phones? They ain't big anymore, they just get smaller and smaller. Plus you've got the addition of color, ringtones, games, cameras, video, it goes on and on! I just found a phone I had a scant two years ago that I thought was the pimpin'est thing ever and now it just looks antiquated in comparison.

Now don't get me wrong, I like it, as I said, I'm a geek. I'm just not gonna pay for all that extra stuff! I am fighting DA MAN and saying no! I won't stand for it! Give me free stuff or give me--give me-- ...ummmm...ummmm...

(nothing cell phones are cool ignore this angry youth)