TOOLS x 2

Is there anybody I hate more than that giant tool Ashton Kutcher??

Until today I didn't think so, but that white boy with the nappy hair from You Got Served who says "Suckaz got served!" definitely takes that title.

CRINGE INDUCING

I have seen the first sign of the impending apocalyspe. And it is MXP: Most Xtreme Primate. Why? Oh god why?????

BUT! BUT! IT'S BETTER THAN I'M A CELEBRITY, GET ME OUTTA HERE, RIGHT? RIGHT? OH.

I can't quite decide which cast is lamer, Celebrity Mole: Yucatan, or The Surreal Life.

Matt's Side-by-Side®:

Celebrity Mole: Yucatan

The Surreal Life

Ananda Lewis                                    

Tammy Faye Messner

Mark Curry                                     

Erik Estrada

Angie Everhart

Ron Jeremy

Tracy Gold

Vanilla Ice

Keisha Knight Pulliam

Traci Bingham

 
Dennis Rodman

Trishelle (from The Real World)

Stephen Baldwin


Corbin Bernsen

Gads. It's like a burial ground for celebrities that were quasi-famous 10 years ago. And in some cases the people weren't ever household names *cough* Trishelle *cough* I don't know which one I'd pick, both seem equally lame to me, but I'm just an average television viewer, what can I do? *cough* ratings *cough*

LET ME TELLA YOU ABOUT DE NUT!

It's about time! McDonald's has finally cut endorsement ties with Kobe Bryant over the rape charges leveled against him. I'm not taking sides and saying that Bryant's guilty and should have all his sponsors taken away from him, but what I am saying is it took that long McDonald's?? Nutella cut him right away! Lord knows Nutella could actually use a celebrity to sponsor their chocolate goop, but they immediately chose to send him on his way. McDonald's doesn't need anybody to help them sell their product, as we all know how Americans love their greasy fried goodness. Heck, they still sell food even when having lame Justin Timberlake ghetto commercials! The McDonald's corporation probably feel kind of embarrassed that a small company cut their big sponsor before the giant McDonald's machie did. I would anyway.

Who will step up for Nutella now? Nobody I'm afraid, it just doesn't get as much publicity as jersey and sneaks.

Poor Nutella.

But hey, at least there's still a market for it from those voracious, Nutella-loving Italians!

A BAND NAME LIKE ANY OTHER

Is there a band named Molotov Cocktail? I don't know, but if there isn't, there should be.