METROTELECONNECT THIS!

Has anyone seen these Metroteleconnect commercials? Is this a national thing? They claim to be able to turn your phone on again if it's been shut off by the phone company for late bill payment. And all for a small charge of $49.95! Woohoo!

But here's the flaw in their reasoning: If you used the $49.95 you were going to give to Metroteleconnect and instead applied it towards your unpaid phone bill, the phone company will turn your phone back on as soon as your bill is paid off! By doing this, you'll simultaneously have no unpaid bills, have a working phone, and not be out an additional $50! Who are the suckers that buy into this ploy?? Is this even legal?? It should be illegal--illegally LAME!. Boo-yaa!

("Metroteleconnect" is probably going to be a frequently searched word on this site, much as 10-10-987 is. So if anybody is trying to find out about them for reasons of turning their phone back on, heed my advice and stop right now! Don't be a sucka.)

*Note: I'm bringing back boo-yaa, that term had too short of a time on this earth. Let's give it one more chance people, whaddya say?*

DON'T BE HATIN'!

This is pretty dumb. In an MIT study, they found that the most hated invention that is also a "must have" is a cell phone, because as Lemelson Center Director Merton C. Flemings put it: "The interconnectedness you get from the cell phone is a very positive thing, and I think that's one of the most important things, the bringing together of people. The downside of that is that you sometimes want to be alone."

Here's a hint: if you don't want to be connected at all times, DON'T GET A CELL PHONE. Humanity managed just fine without them for thousands of years. At the very least, turn off the phone. Then the caller will leave a message and you can call back at your leisure. Duh.

The second most hated invention was the alarm clock. Yeah, I bet your boss would love it if you didn't have one those! Don't like the buzzer? Wake up to some soothing nature sounds like me. (even though I admit, it's not all it's cracked up to be, read my 11-23-03 post)

The third most hated invention was television. What?? Please! I'm sure that if television was taken away people would be curled up in sanitariums crying softly to themselves. No Dan Rather, no Friends, no Superbowl. Millions and millions of people are watching TV at any given time. People talk about it over the watercooler. I'm so sure that if it was taken away people would be more content and more productive. *scoff*

Don't go blaming the invention just because you don't like it! Suck it up. The rest of us like them. Would you rather this to be 1776 again, huh huh??

Incidentally, I'm of the crowd of those inventions rock my world. I have no landline phone, just a cell phone. I wake to an alarm clock everyday. I watch TV all the time. I don't complain about these things EVER. I wish I could be plugged into a computer and know everything at all times. Then I'd laugh and laugh...all the way to the bank! Ba-dum-bum!

GOLDEN GLOBE THOUGHTS

THANK THE GODS that Peter Jackson and Lord of the Rings finally won! ABOUT FREAKIN' TIME!

Dag yo, I wish I could get away with wearing sunglasses all the time like Jack Nicholson. But if I did people would say, "Hey, look at that loser."

The whole appeal of the "fashion" of the awards escapes me. Who cares what kind of dress it is and who makes it? It's all just publicity for the designers. And I hate Joan Rivers. What gives her the right to comment on how people look? Look at her. She frightens old and young alike. Another guy I can't stand is Steven Cojocaru. He is perhaps the most irritating person I have ever seen in my entire life. He's the male Joan Rivers, and that's a scary thought. Apparently it's okay for him to say what's stylish too, but look at him. Jeez.

What's also disturbing is that E! has a pre-show that runs for six hours before the Globes. When the pre-show is longer than the actual show, that's when you know you've gone too far.