IT MUST DOUBLE HIS SHAVING TIME

Bruce Willis has the highest nose to lip ratio I have ever seen. But I guess he made it work for him, so there's no need for pity.

AI WRAP UP

Grrrr...Jon Peter Lewis still isn't gone?? Still??? And he wasn't even in the bottom three either!! Jeezum, when will America realize that this guy is a total MESS?? Can't sing, can't dance, looks like a tool, is a tool. I'd rather watch William Hung than him. I am glad Camille got the boot though, I found her voice quite grating. Here's hoping that next week JPL will finally get the big ol' boot. But I'm not holding my breath on that one knowing how America votes.

And you call yourselves Americans... *scoff*

WEEKLY AMERICAN IDOL THOUGHTS

You'd think with the good songs they had to sing this week, this would've been a pretty good show. Unfortunately, it wasn't. No one really grabbed me very much. I liked LaToya I guess, and well, ummmm, that was pretty much it. Randy kept going on about how hard Elton John songs were to sing, so I thought, "Then why the heck did you give them to these amateurs??" I don't know what he was expecting. The worst of the night BY FAR was Jon Peter Lewis who completely BUTCHERED "Rocketman." I was cringing in disgust. I think JPL will get the axe tonight. And it's about time for that bad haircut wearin', no talent dancin', gap tooth sportin', funny voice havin', two first name possessin' DORK to leave the show!

CALORIE COUNTING

Tic-Tacs used to advertise themselves as "The 1 1/2 calorie breath mint." Now they're advertising themselves as being "30% bigger." These two things are quite contradictory. If a Tic-Tac is now 30% bigger, it would also stand to reason that it has 30% more calories as well. So now all the people that ate Tic-Tacs because they had only 1 1/2 calories might opt not to eat them because they'll contain 1.95 calories. And when you're watching your weight, that .45 calorie can make all the difference. *snicker*

So it appears that the Tic-Tac customer base is being divided between the low calorie ingesters and the bigger breath mint crowd. For shame Tic-Tac advertising agency...for shame.

YOU SAID "THE." PAY ME NOW.

Something I wanted to talk about is Donald Trump trying to tradmark the phrase "You're Fired." This is perhaps the dumbest thing I've heard since Spike Lee claiming TNN was infringing on his name by changing their name to "Spike." How do you trademark a phrase in the English language?? That's like me trademarking the word "the" and getting paid every time someone says it.

Can you imagine this scenario?...

[CEO calls employee into office]
CEO: "Steve, your production has really been slipping lately, you haven't been living up to your full potential. I'm sorry but--"
Employee: "But--but--"
CEO: "You're fired."
[Air raid sirens go off. Lights flash. A SWAT team drops from the ceiling carrying high powered rifles.]
SWAT: "Sir, you have infringed on a trademark held by Mr. Donald Trump. Cease and desist immediately. You will be subjected to a large fine and possible prison sentence. This office will be shut down until further notice."

It would be just like Trump, "Master of the Giant Ego," to do something like that.

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The Fox Steals Home: Freddy Adu and other youngsters